Chrystal's Rants and Raves: February 2011

I decided to post part of the Emergency Preparedness rant that I left out earlier. It was just bugging me too much not to post it. :-)

I am now invoking my right to digress in my own rant. Listen to me very carefully, my Liberal friends. There is something that you need to know now. When the day comes whose door do you think you will be knocking on for help? Who do you think is going to be stock piled with food and clothing? Who do you think will know how to start a fire or build a shelter? That's right. The Conservatives. The Republicans. The Libertarians. The Tea - Partiers. Those of us that understand that in order for to survive we can't leave anything to chance.

Think about this for a little bit. Just a little bit. How many of YOUR like minded friends, both political and social, are truly prepared for an emergency? How many of them could you count on to know what to do if something were to happen? I can tell you that ALL of my like minded friends have some kind of plan in place when the chips fall. Some of us actually have group plans. Do you have one of a 6 set 2 way battery operated radios with one of your friends to contact? Do your children know how to reach all of their emergency contacts?

When the crisis occurs I won't be home. My Conservative friends and I will be at least two days ahead of you. The way I see it, half of you arrogant shits will be dead. Murdered by the looters you fought so hard to coddle before the event. They knew no other way but to take what you had to feed their own needs. That included your lives. The other half? Well once you come together there will only be about an eighth of you worth a damn to anyone else. And that's being generous. I figure you will either argue each other into starvation or if there are a few amongst you that know how to survive in an emergency your generous contemporaries will force you to slave away and work to exhaustion to care for them because after all, they were too weak willed and weak minded to learn and prepare themselves. You owe it to them. You can't just let them starve!

I am really surly today. Actually, I have been surly all of this last week. I originally thought that it was due to my being sick, but no. The illness was only a physical manifestation of my inner irritation. I have been on edge a lot. I have that urge to grab innocent people by the wrist and slap their faces with their own hands. I call them innocent but only because I don’t know them. Who knows? Maybe they need a good bullying. You should know that writing this has put an evil smirk on my face. Just thinking about that pea coat, long scarf and wide brimmed wool cap wearing douche bag that always stretches his legs across the seat on the bus so that no one can sit by him getting slapped repeatedly with his own hand makes me giggle. Instead of “Quit hitting yourself” I would say “Keep hitting yourself, keep hitting yourself”. Ha ha ahahahahaa. That shit is funny.

I don’t like it when my word processor corrects my English, either. Fuck you Word. Fragment this you cock sucker. (Oh, that it agrees with… Son of a Bitch)

Why are the simplest of tasks so fucking hard for some people? Have we really become a society so G-d damned lazy that we can’t either read or listen to direction? Do you really need me to tell you what day of the week the 8^th is on when not only is it written down ON THE ORDER I SENT YOU but also ON THE CALENDAR to your right? Christ on a crutch. You would think that with the information supplied to you that you would be able to figure it out. No? You really are that stupid? Wow. Oh, and you’re 55? I have now been amazed that you made it this fucking far in life. Go slap yourself.

Grab the edge of the desk, Chrystal and take a few deep breaths. Slow the heart rate down just a little. Is this what my Grandfather felt like all those years? Why didn’t anyone warn us? Why was there no one to say “Hey, by the way, when you get to your late 30s, you will be so overwhelmingly irritated with the stupidity around you that the only term that will lull you to sleep at night is ‘postal vengeance’? I don’t know, you guys. Maybe there was someone in your life that gave you the yellow warning. Not me. I was surrounded by individuals with intelligence that greatly surpasses my own. So I venture to guess that if dealing with people is this hard for me, how was it for them? And if I’m not as intelligent as they were what does that say about society in general?

Let me move on…

Prepare yourself. Let’s put the jokes about a Zombie Apocalypse to the side for a few minutes. We are not an impenetrable nation. We are just as susceptible to attack as anyone else and to think otherwise is naïve and dangerous. If you have a family and no plan of survival for a MINIMUM of two weeks then you are putting the lives of those you love in jeopardy. Even if all you do is read and keep handy a book on survival, at least you are doing something.

For those of my friends that think so egotistically that this won’t happen here, in good old peace loving Portland, Oregon, just think back to November 26, 2010. A nineteen year old male by the name of Mohamed Mohamud attempted to detonate a bomb at the annual Christmas tree lighting in Pioneer Courthouse Square http://www.katu.com/news/110941254.html . Had he not been detected by the FBI early in his plans to kill thousands of families, we would have been in a serious state of panic here in the Portland metro area. Think about that for a little while. Really let that sink into your thought process. What if he had been successful? Would you have had the resources to properly provide for you and your family? Things like that don’t sit well in our minds but that’s why they are important for us to recognize and meet head on. We have to face the unpleasant and prepare for the worst. I don’t want to be stuck with my pants down scrambling for someone to help me feed and care for my family. Do you?

In addition, I would like to remind everyone reading this that in an emergency the need for personal protection is drastically increased. Individuals that obtain their firearms legally are much less likely to be the ones out rioting and looting local businesses. A firearm is essential to any and all emergency preparedness kits.

My paranoia runs deep. I see these as possible reasons to have one if the shit hits the fan:

There are riots in the street and people start breaking into homes to loot the basics that they did not have the foresight to store up themselves and feel that because I did means that I am obligated to share with them.
I have evacuated and am stuck in a wooded area that has wild animals that are a little too curious about what’s I got in my picanic basket.
You are about to become a Zombie. I will fucking kill you. Again.
To assert my right as an American citizen to protect myself against the tyranny of those that wish to control and dismantle my freedoms.
To assist in the protection of my friends and their families. I am not so arrogant to think that I could survive solely on my own. That old adage of ‘Safety in Numbers’ is just as true in a crisis.

By the by… Notice that all but one of my reasons stated above are about protection. I can’t think of one gun owner that I know that carries for the sole purpose of causing someone else harm. And to my Vegan/Vegetarian friends, animals are not people. I’ll eat the fuck out of Mittens or Fido if I have to. I’m not joking. I’m sure G-d will understand. Even if you don’t.

So to recap this rant. I am a bully. Stop being stupid. Prepare yourself and your family for a crisis situation. Mittens and Fido are both ridiculous names for pets.

Thank you for reading this far.

I believe that you should always give credit where credit is due. In keeping with my morals and values, I would like to thank my friends Joe Kessel, Larry Good and Will Stewart for providing me with some of the following links. Without these three gentlemen, I would not have all the information or resources that I do so readily available to pass along to you.

Resources to get you started:

http://southwestwashingtonsurplus.com/

http://beprepared.com/Default.asp?bhcd2=1297189324

http://www.iqtest.com/

http://www.survivaltopics.com/survival/the-5-basic-survival-skills/

http://www.captaindaves.com/dl-list/dl14-asg.htm

http://pun.org/schools.html

http://www.am-i-dumb.com/

http://www.fema.gov/plan/index.shtm

http://www.appleseedinfo.org/

http://www.portlandonline.com/police/index.cfm?c=35911 (women’s self defense training)

http://www.redcross.org/