My year in review. By me. Not Facebook. Not political.

I have been seeing a lot of the “So&So’s 2012 Review” on the Facebook lately.  I like them… I guess.  And, I’m sure that I will wind up with one.  I was actually thinking of clicking the link when I kind of thought to myself, “But they seem to be very impersonal.”  This is what has led me here tonight. Writing about what my year has been like and reflecting on a more personal level.  No one is obligated to read this and if you don’t want to hear about it, well, then click off this page and don’t read any further.  Trust me. You won’t hurt my feelings if I don’t have to hear you complain.

I had a rough start to my year. My dad died January 15^th. I don’t know how many of you have lost a parent. How difficult it is saying goodbye to someone you care so much for. My dad was so much to me. I keep him alive in my heart and I feel everyday that he’s here with me. My dad taught me so much about life and allowing life to flow. I didn’t truly learn what he meant until he was gone when he told me that my understanding would be thanks enough. I can never thank you enough for everything, Pop. I miss you every day.

I was able to see my sister and one of my brothers this year. I hadn't realized that it had been 13 years since Stephanie and I had seen each other. I'm hoping to connect with her more in the coming years as we learn to bridge that gap that was between us for so long.
Seeing Keith was amazing. My kid brother. I friggin loved that kid and now, while we don't talk all the time or keep constant contact, he knows that I am here for him as a friend and a sister.

I had this super awesome job. Man! I loved that damned job. Being the Event Manager at Pure Space was freaking sweet. I loved the people I worked with. Joe, Elizabeth. Elena, Dave, Timothy…all made the job a bright spot. Those folks are what made the Bullshit worth putting up with. But it wasn’t meant to last and now I’ve moved on. I have a new job. Not the excitement and fun that WCEP was but still a good job. I am shown respect and appreciation by the owner and my co-workers. It’s a good place to work and I think I will be there for awhile. At least, I’d like to think I will be there for awhile.

I moved from the apartment. At first I went to Vancouver. There for a month? Then we came to where we are now and here I am. I love it here. So nice, peaceful and serene. I never thought that I would find a place like this and enjoy it enough to call it home. But I do. I am where I need to be.

I’ve spent the year watching Lillian grow into her own person. More rapidly than a mother would really want but none the less, she is an independent young woman. I’m still here to guide her and help her when needed but she’s doing pretty darned good on her own. She’s just recently started her first real job. I can’t express how excited I am for her! The pride and esteem that comes from work will propel her forward. I see good things in her future.

I’ve met some good friends over this past year. Strengthened old ones and lost a few.
Scott and Kari are friends of Richard’s that are becoming close friends of mine. These two, man. I can’t say enough nice things about them. They are both beautiful people with hearts of gold. Just knowing that they are around is a good feeling. Dave and Wendi. These two are unique. In their individuality and in their togetherness. They are the quintessential overgrown teenage love affair and they are kind and generous. These four people have made my year better just for being who they are and allowing me to know them.
Cecelia. My dear sweet friend. I lost you for a few years and now we are back. Not as often as we would like but still friends. You have been there for me like no other friend ever has. I am grateful to you for your generosity and your support. You have your struggles and I have mine but we always know that just a phone call away or a “I need you now” is all it takes to make the other stand up and say “I’m here.” You are a true friend. I love you, Lady Face.
Peter. You have been my friend through some rough stuff and some good. Always there for me and I know that I could tell you ANYTHING and you would look at me and say “You’re pretty fucked up. Here. Have a drink.” and then move on to something else. THAT is what keeps us friends. Because if you told me some fucked up shit I wouldn’t say any more or less to you.

And now, I come to the person that has kept me in sanity and in who I find peace and warmth. Richard. This man came into my life unexpectedly. We started this year on an unsure note. Where are we going? What are we doing? Let’s just see what happens… and now here we are. The relationship that has developed between us is more than just boyfriend/girlfriend. He has become my partner in every aspect. I introduce him as and talk about him with that title. Partner. That is truly what he is in my life. Together we are a team. It feels good to know that I have him beside me and that I am there for him. There is so much I could say and go on about concerning Richard. I won’t. He knows my heart and that is truly the blessing of our relationship. Plus, he buys me cookies and cake.

 

Two Thursdays ago, I was in my Judaism class. Rabbi Kominsky said something that, paraphrasing his words, I would like to share.
While talking about the meaning of Hanukkah, Rabbi said that the common message shared between, Hanukkah, Christmas and the Winter Solstice is one of hope. He said that when you look at what the burning oil, the birth of Jesus and the longest night of the year symbolize, you see that they all share that foundation of a “light at the end of a tunnel” or “a new beginning”. He encouraged us to enjoy these times and holidays with our non Jewish friends and family in the spirit of the meaning. I’d like to take that a bit further and encourage not only accepting a “Merry Christmas” from a Christian friend but extending one back with the same open heartedness. These holidays represent many things to many people. We get so caught up in the “offensive” and being the victim (“But I’M NOT Christian and everyone around me is saying Merry Christmas”! Yeah. Well? So what. Get over it. Be yourself and let them be themselves. ) that we forget that a “Happy Hanukkah!” or a “Blessed Be!” is most often a heartfelt sentiment meant to bring a smile to our face not darken our hearts with contempt.
I, personally, pledge to no longer “correct” or “guide” someone to greet me by my religious holiday during this season. I will accept and respond in kind to a “Merry Christmas” put forth by my friends and family. Deep inside I honestly want my Christian friends to have a Merry Christmas and my Pagan friends to delight in the Winter Solstice. These are acts that bring them happiness and peace.

So, I hope that 2012 will close with a quiet click of the door and 2013 will begin on schedule and with a more clearly defined goal. May you all have a Merry Christmas, a Magical Yule and I hope that the Hanukkahs were joyous!

Addicting Info, I agree not.

This rant is in response to Addictinginfo.com’s “You might be a Conservative if” post:

( http://www.addictinginfo.org/2012/01/14/you-might-be-a-conservative-if/ )

1. I personally don’t give a rat’s ass how many vacation days the POTUS takes. What I do care about is the amount of vacation days the FLOTUS takes and how much she shells out in tax payer money to take these vacations. IF the majority of the American people were thriving and doing well, then yes. Take your vacations and spend YOUR money (that would be the money that you are paid, not using Air Force One to fly to Hawaii, etc.) as you will. But at a time when most Americans are cutting back on some of the basics like walking to the grocery store vs. driving to save gas so they can make it to work all week, maybe the First Family would be wiser to follow suit. Show us that you are in it with us. THAT is where I see the problem.

2. I am not anti-union. I believe that there is a need for unions in certain trades like carpentry and masonry. I do not believe that government employees should be unionized. I derive my opinion from personal experience. When I was the Director of Housekeeping at the Paramount Hotel in downtown Portland, the housekeeping staff was unionized. There was no sense of caring for the customer. In a hotel, there are times when the house is full and all the rooms must be flipped to accommodate incoming guests. With a unionized staff, I was often left after the 8 hour shift finishing the rooms because many of the cleaning staff wouldn’t stay after 8 hours EVEN if their assigned rooms were not finished and there was NOTHING I could do about it except file a complaint with the union and wait for the representative to contact me. We offered an extra room program if someone called in sick where the staff could pick up rooms to clean at $2.50 per occupied room and $3.00 per check out room. As often as these employees called off, trust me that it was a good deal, considering they also got extra pay for having a roll away cot in a room or if a room was left excessively dirty. I usually had to cover the Honor Bar position so that my Honor Bar attendant could clean rooms because most of the Housekeepers refused. Overtime was voluntary when we the busy season hit until we were able to bring in seasonal employees from the union. Most of the staff declined the OT. I had two employees that were willing to do whatever it took to maintain quality. My houseman and my assistant. We had a heavy check out day but a slow day the next so I decided to clean what was needed plus 20 and clean the rest the next day. Our laundry attendant called in that day. The housekeepers complained to the union because Joy (my assistant) was working the laundry and John (my houseman) was delivering laundry to the floors. Apparently those two stepping up to help outside their normal work load was a big time union no-no and I got written up for allowing them to help. I was told by my manager that if that ever happened again I would lose my job. There was no sense of “We have a job to do and will do whatever it takes to accomplish this job” The attitude was consistently “The union says I don’t have to”. It was the main force that drove me to leave that job.

NOW, compare this to when I was the Executive Housekeeper at the Oxford Suites a non union hotel. When we were busy ALL the staff pitched in. We all worked as a team and left as a team. If anyone was behind because of extra dirty rooms one that finished early would go to that section and help to finish. When there was a call off the team came together to complete the rooms. Our pick up room pay wasn’t as high as the union hotel was but I can honestly say that having worked there for 4 years, I can’t recall one housekeeper saying no. If someone needed help, I got up and helped them and they were grateful. I had a staff that came in on time, rarely called off and did their jobs. They all cross trained in every aspect of Housekeeping. They all knew laundry, houseman, inspection and room attendant. There was never a sense of “that’s not my job” if someone was sick in laundry, any one of the housekeepers on staff or the houseman could step in and work the laundry. It was a TEAM environment.

THAT’S what unions take away in customer service jobs. I ship packages exclusively through UPS now because I haven’t been treated with any kind of decency by a postal employee in the last three years. I ask the question “How do you get treated at the DMV?” is it with respect or disdain? Wouldn’t you rather have an option of being able to go to Joe’s Licensing Service where Joe’s employees know that poor customer service will get them in hot water with the boss? I would.

3. It’s not that I don’t think that the Muslim community doesn’t have the right to build their Community Center in Manhattan; it’s that I think its placement is in poor taste. If you are honestly trying to build a sense of calm and understanding between a people, then maybe the site (or so incredibly close) of where thousands died at the hands of individuals who killed in your name ISN’T the most sensitive place to do such a thing. Think about that. I wouldn’t like it if I came out of my house to find a moving truck with my ex moving into the apartments across the street from me. A man who made my life hell for a period of time by terrorizing me and making insinuations that he planned to kill me. Now, once he’s released he has every right to stay in Portland but across the street from me would be in poor taste. I see the Community Center in the same light.

4. I don’t know if Obama and his family are Christian or Muslim. He never confessed anything to me about being a Muslim. But I think if he were Muslim he’d be in deep shit for acting like a Christian. Although they are allowed to lie and pretend to be someone they are not to reach their goals… Hmmm. I never really thought about that.

5. I think Romneycare and Obamacare are bad for America. I don’t care how you slice it or dice it. If I DON’T WANT HEALTHCARE then it is MY RIGHT not to have it! I pay for my healthcare out of pocket because I want the BEST care I can get. I DO NOT want the government telling me when I can and can not have care and to what doctor I should go. IT’S MY BODY MY HEALTH. NO ONE has the right to tell me what I can do with it. PERIOD.

6. First off, what an immature statement. Secondly, I can’t think of anywhere that I go that I shouldn’t be allowed to open carry if I choose. Of course I would carry concealed just because at 5’5” and 130lbs anyone seeing I was armed could possibly think “I’ll over power her and take her weapon”. But my point is this: We have the right to bear arms. Your sensitivity to guns is not my problem. One day, you may be thankful that that “backwoods hillbilly gun toting redneck” was carrying a firearm because he saved your life. It happens everyday to people all over the country.

7. Yeah, I don’t even know where you got that. Conspiracy theorist websites? You know every single conspiracy theorist I’ve ever met was a Liberal… Just saying…
8. OK!! One of my favorites. IF a corporation is going to fail, LET IT. If I make bad decisions with my business and I have to close it and file for bankruptcy then I suffer the consequences of my bad management. I have to lay off my workers. I go broke and have to sell my house. GM and all those poor business decision making monkeys on the board should have to suffer the consequences of bad business management. As far as the jobs goes, I would like to point out that to quote freakonomics.com: “Though they conclude that the stimulus was generally effective, the authors point out the fundamental problem with evaluating its effectiveness: The lack of a counterfactual. We’ll never know what would’ve happened if we hadn’t had the stimulus. Which is why the “things would’ve been much worse…” story has been difficult for the Obama administration to sell, particularly with unemployment still above 9%?” (http://www.freakonomics.com/2011/06/27/stimulus-analysis-state-block-grants-created-no-new-jobs/). You have to look at it that way. That we don’t know what would have happened. There should have been business changes made within these companies. Look at Ford. They originally asked for a bailout but decided against receiving one. I see they are still in business… As any horrible parent would, I compare the two kids by asking the question “If Ford can stay in business and flourish through this rough economy with out a bailout then why can’t you, GM, Chrysler and GMAC?” ANSWER that question and we can have a talk about this topic on a serious note.
9. I think everyone should learn to speak the language of the country they are adopting as their own. If I moved to Italy, you think I would only speak English and never learn to speak Italian? NO. When I go get my nails done, I do so at a salon where the majority of technicians are Vietnamese. They all speak English. Some of them not very well, but they speak it. I’m not the least bit bothered when speaking amongst each other they speak Vietnamese. When they are talking to me, they speak English. That’s all that matters.
10. That man targeted Gabrielle Giffords. He wasn’t there for any other reason but to harm THAT woman. The fact that EVERYONE, Left and Right decides to make this into a case to attack the other side is just as despicable as the very crime that was committed. When John Hinkley, JR shot President Reagan, he did so because he was mentally ill thinking he would impress Jodi Foster. Do you believe otherwise? Was he really politically motivated and the Jodi Foster thing is just a cover-up by the left to mask a failed assassination attempt? Or do you see it for what it really was? An unfortunate event that was fueled by one man’s mental illness. That is what happened in Tucson. Stop adding to the pain of the tragedy by your insinuations.
11. Social Security and Medicare need to be reformed. They really do. When I have to spend more money to cover some costs here at home, I cut back on the things that need to be cut back on. Sure I still by sliced cheese but save a dollar and a half by using Safeway brand instead of Kraft. That’s my answer.
12. Personally, I didn’t cheer. Most Conservatives I know have an opinion about NPR, Planned Parenthood and gay rights but they don’t cheer the MSM pushing these issues down our throats in an effort to focus our attention away from the real problems such as the Economy, Taxation and job creation.
13. I’m not happy with the taxes I shell out, PERIOD. I don’t care who made the call. What I do care about is the fact that this POTUS has the ability to transform the tax system and doesn’t.
14. Again, this comes down to taxes. But I also want to make a case against that statement with a little company I’ve come to know as Nike. Maybe you’ve heard of them? They have a campus (yes, a CAMPUS) in Beaverton, Oregon where they have a factory. Two full service retail stores in downtown Portland and multiple outlets around the city. Another is IceBreaker. They actually came from New Zealand to open a store here in Portland. Their offices are next door to my work. Oh, there is Microsoft another small little company you may have heard of. Offices and production here in the Portland area. R.E.I also has a factory here and some very large retail stores where there are quite the number of associates falling over themselves to assist you. Plus we have three production companies currently shooting television shows here. Leverage, Grimm and Portlandia. All companies that COULD have filmed in New Zealand, given the lower costs of production in that country and its cartographic similarities to the Pacific Northwest US but no. They chose to come here. So, I have just made your point invalid.
15. I’m not against gays. I’m not against any two CONSENTING adults getting married if they are so inclined to be foolish enough to engage in that institution.
16. Some are some aren’t. I happen to be against abortion but for choice. What you do with your body is your choice. Not mine.
17. That’s not true of my beliefs. I don’t believe that corporations are people. They are corporations. I don’t think they should get any special treatment or breaks just as I don’t think they should be OVER taxed because they are corporations. I always chuckle how liberal minds don’t see that increasing corporate tax is a type of special treatment. Punishing one more than another for the same crime is special treatment. Like specialty taxes levied against oil companies because they “aren’t good for the environment” or how the city of Portland has their own “lodging tax” that they hit hotels with just for being a hotel. WTF? Those are special taxes that the liberal laws deem as “necessary for the common good.” Horseshit. And the sooner you see that, the sooner you will start to understand the reason behind the way Conservatives think.
18. What? Again, I’ve never heard of any of this. Probably because I’m not lost in that slippery slope mentality that brings someone to think that way.
19. A. The reason I have the opinion that I have is based on my own personal experience living in the same region for the last almost 20 years. Temperatures vary. Since I’ve lived in the PNW, we have had scorching summers and cool summers. Warm winters and ice storms that last more than a week. There is nothing that either side could say to me to convince me to their side. I’ve read scientific articles for and against and they all basically tell me one thing: Nobody knows for sure. Just like the “Monster Quest” guys on History Channel. They always are just on the verge of finding Samsquanch but by the end of the program it all eventually comes down to “The fact is that we don’t have any real evidence but we’re gonna keep lookin’ till we do!” I’m convinced that they all need to find a new hobby. B. C’mon. Was that necessary?
20. I don’t think that either one of those debt increases were called for. Obama’s debt increase was no more noble than Bush’s in my opinion. I do believe that Bush’s debt increase was less of a knee jerk reaction than Obama’s was. But that could be due to my memory of the events or because where I supported the need for military action in the Middle East and opposed the Auto/Banking/Clean Energy industry being financially rewarded for making poor business decisions. By the way, how’s that Solyndra grant working out? Do you still really think it was a wise investment and a solid reason to increase our debt?
21. I wonder how it must feel to know why G-d does anything… Can you tell me? Because obviously you know G-d’s mind enough to say that he targets the area that MEN call the “Bible Belt”. I wonder if He calls it the “Bible Belt”. I wonder if you apply those same beliefs to the Tsunami in Japan. Did G-d target Japan because they are mostly Shinto and Buddhist? Please enlighten me as to why G-d does anything that He does.
22. Funny how when Kush Bush was in office, you Liberals felt you had every right to make fun of and target him in every way you possibly could but the minute Obummer took office, you call anyone that disagrees with him a racist. What a bunch of hypocrites. It doesn’t matter who is in office, the other side will ALWAYS make fun of and criticize him. If a Republican gets elected in 2012 I’m pretty certain that you will find a snarky nickname for him and will bash him at every turn. So STFU with your calls of racism.

Basically what all this comes down to is: believing what you are told. All of the points made above are “facts about Conservatives” pushed on viewers by the MSM. As Liberals, how many of you are actually open minded enough to discuss politics with Conservatives? I know of TWO. Of all my Liberal friends, only TWO actually have frank and honest political discussions with me. We don’t agree but they actually talk about things and don’t allow emotions to cloud their debate. I have lost dear friends over being Conservative not because I wouldn’t see what they had to say but because they couldn’t handle the fact that I hold the beliefs that I do and obviously I must be a bad person for being a Conservative. I was told that I was cold and uncaring because my discussions aren’t based on how I “feel” when it comes to my beliefs. It doesn’t matter how I feel. What matters is what is true.

Chrystal

An Open Letter to My Dad

January 15, 2012 I lost my father. No. I lost my Dad. Well, I didn’t really lose him. I’ll never lose him.

My Dad was my best friend for along long time. Peas in a pod I think is the saying. We were really fucking obnoxious together. He taught me the art of the Pun. Something I’ve never been able to freestyle with anyone the way I could with my dad. We had goofy conversations. We made wild accusations against one another that always resulted in laughter. My Dad taught me to love books, think for myself and be myself. I never realized how much like him I am. I’m vulgar at inappropriate times. Or is it vulgar at appropriate times but actually uncalled for vulgarity? Or is the vulgarity appropriate but the time just off by a minute? Well, time is relative. And you are my dad. But how do you know? How do we know anything? Ah, it’s because we know that we know that we know! Well played, sir. You are the Master. And the drums beat on.. To Galifry! To Galifry! *it’s ok, reader. He understood it.

The last time I saw him was 2006. We had a strained visit. I wasn’t in the best shape. He knew it. He didn’t push or pry. He never told me he knew. But I knew he knew. I always thought I would have the chance to let him see how well I was doing. There were so many conversations that included the phrase “I’m going to try for coming out there this summer”. That was a lie we both told. Always thinking there would be the chance.

Both my sisters got to visit with Dad before he passed. I have to admit I was insanely jealous. I was having trouble understanding why they were able to see him and I wasn’t. I’ve come to the conclusion that I didn’t need to. I had a really good relationship with my father. We talked about EVERYTHING. There was nothing to settle between us and nothing left unsaid. I know Pop loved me. He knew I loved him. Our last conversation we made sure to tell one another just that. He knows I’m a survivor. He knows that no matter what I will pick myself up from the boot straps, dust the dirt from my shoulder and move forward. That’s how he raised me.

I’d like to share one of my favorite stories. This is how almost every dispute between us went down and was resolved. We had this particular interaction when I was 14 in the kitchen of the Sims house in St. Paul. He was making burger patties for that monster grill he’d made out of a 50 gallon drum.

Pop: Hey, Chrys, hand me that tin foil.

Me: No response

Pop: Hey, goddamn it, I’m talking to you. Hand me that tin foil.

Me: Oh, you said “Chrys” I thought there was someone else in the room. My name is Chrystal. I don’t look or act anything like a “Chrys”.

Pop: *chuckling to himself* Well, Little un, by that logic I should be calling you 'Shithead' right now.

Me: That’s not funny.

Pop: Lighten up, goddamn it! I’ll call you whatever the hell I feel like calling you. I’m your dad! I can do that. Nobody else (‘cept maybe your mom) has that right. So suck it up and hand me that fuckin’ tin foil so I can cook dinner!

Me: throws the tin foil his way and storms off to my room

A couple of hours later sitting outside on the back deck eating:

Pop: *pinching my face* Awww, you still mad at your old Dad?

Me: *brushing him away* Leave me alone. You hurt my feelings.

Pop: Ha! Hurt your feelings? How? By showing you what you already know?

Me: You called me a shithead.

Pop: Well, you gave me reason to. So knock it off, goddamn it, and give your dad a hug.

Me: No! Leave me alone. I’m mad at you.

Pop: Too fucking bad! Give your dad a hug!

Force hugs me and kisses my head and starts tickling me. I start laughing and crying at the same time.

Pop: See? You weren’t mad at your dad. I love you, Little un.

Me: *hugging my dad* I love you, Pop.

And so, over the years, even in deep conversation, my Pop and I would always come full circle. We were able to discuss with each other anything we needed to. Always knowing that no matter what was said, we loved each other.

I’m really going to miss our talks as ridiculous as they were. But I’m not going to mourn him. He told his wife just before he passed that he saw his family that had passed before him. I’m glad. That tells me that when it’s my time he’ll be there to take my hand.

I’d tell you to Rest in Peace, Pop, but that sounds boring as all get outta town. Just do what you do and I’ll see you again.

Take care, I love you!